The word simp isn’t new. It dates back almost a century. It first appeared in the early 1900s as shorthand for “simpleton,” describing someone seen as foolish or naive. Over time, especially in hip-hop and online culture, the meaning shifted. By the late 20th century, simp was being used to mock men who were perceived as doing “too much” for women. In today’s internet slang, it’s become a catch-all insult for men who show care, vulnerability, or generosity in relationships.

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A Modern Example: Russell Wilson vs. Future

Perhaps the clearest example of how this dynamic plays out in public is the contrast between Russell Wilson and Future. Russell has long been mocked as a “simp” because of how openly he loves his wife, Ciara, and how fully he shows up for their family. Future, by contrast, has built much of his persona around avoiding commitment, moving from woman to woman, and dismissing men who invest deeply in their relationships.

However, when you step back, it’s clear who stands in the stronger position. Russell has a partner he respects and adores, a family he nurtures, including Ciara’s son from before their marriage, and a legacy rooted in stability and love. His choices reflect maturity and intention.

Future’s public jabs reveal something different: a man who didn’t put in the effort to keep his own family together, who can’t escape the fact that fathering a child with Ciara didn’t limit her ability to thrive, be loved, and move on. What gets framed as bravado is, more often, the residue of insecurity, loneliness (you can be surrounded by people and still feel alone), and resentment.

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The Truth I Learned Sitting With the Dying

Back when I was completing my pre-med courses, I volunteered at a hospice center. I’ll never forget how many of the women there were surrounded by family, while far too many of the men were alone. I used to sit with them, sometimes even journaling pieces of their stories. Over and over, I heard the same regret: not doing right by the woman they loved. Not putting down roots. Not being the kind of father their children needed. Not paying any attention to their mental health.

We can act like being in the streets and fooling around is “cool” all we want, but the reality is that it’s a sign of instability and immaturity. You can have all the money in the world, but if you lack integrity, the capacity to love, and the willingness to put others before ego, you’ve failed.

That’s why the word simp rings so hollow as an insult. At its core, being called one usually just means a man is embracing his humanity—meeting women with the same respect, vulnerability, and value he wants for himself. Within a romantic context, that means valuing honesty, empathy, generosity, and the desire to nurture connection. If that’s what it means to be a simp, then we don’t need fewer of them. We need more.

The Financial Misunderstanding

Providing for a partner, or even just showing generosity, isn’t “doing too much.” It should be the norm. And many of the loudest voices criticizing this type of behavior are doing so defensively.

Some men know from the start that they don’t want to provide stability or contribute to building a foundation for a secure life and future family, if so desired. Instead of owning that, they try to lower the bar by mocking those who step up. The unspoken logic: if providing can be framed as weakness, then fewer women will expect it, and their own lack of resources or stinginess won’t be exposed.

The critique becomes especially sharp when directed at men who provide for children who aren’t biologically theirs. But here’s the reality: choosing to love, guide, and support a child, regardless of blood relation, is not a weakness nor a sign a man is a fool. For Black families in particular, this is generational healing. It means a Black boy grows up knowing he is loved unconditionally by a Black man and that his worth is not defined by DNA, but by care and devotion. That isn’t simping. That’s breaking cycles, building legacy, and reshaping patterns of a tapestry that has needed repair for generations.

What Healthy “Simping” Looks Like

When stripped of the mockery, simping looks like the everyday actions that actually sustain relationships:

• Answering texts quickly because someone’s time matters.
• Planning thoughtful dates because effort builds connection.
• Supporting a partner’s goals because their growth is worth investing in.
• Contributing financially because security is part of building a future together.
• Being vulnerable because intimacy can’t exist without honesty.

And here’s the balance: just because a man gives generously or lets his guard down with the wrong woman doesn’t mean that’s all he’ll ever encounter. One disappointing experience doesn’t invalidate the choice to remain open-hearted. The same way women should leave at the first sign of disrespect, men too should walk away when it’s clear their care is being mocked or unappreciated. Protecting your energy and understanding getting hurt and healing is part of the process, not leaning on bad habits that temporarily numb the pain you won’t acknowledge nor address.

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Final Though: Reframing the Word

Maybe it’s time we reclaim simp for what it truly represents: the courage to love openly, to provide stability, and to value partnership over ego. A man who cares deeply isn’t lame, naïve, or a fool. He’s a healed man who knows what he wants, chooses it with intention, and sustains it with integrity. He’s strong enough to resist a culture that markets detachment as power, keeping men broken and directionless.

True strength lies in the health and resilience of family (and not ones that remain intact on paper), but those that thrive in love, respect, and connection. Building legacy is not only admirable, it’s honorable. It’s not only needed, but necessary~