You’ve opened LinkedIn and, suddenly, your stomach drops to the pits of hell.
Someone just raised 1M in funding.
Someone just bought a second home.
Someone just made partner before 30.
Someone just moved abroad—cost of living low.
Someone just launched something innovative, bold.
And without meaning to, you start computing.
Shouldn’t I be further by now?
How old am I? Am I behind?
Is this it? What’s my next move?
If you’re anywhere between your late twenties and late forties (or beyond), you know this pressure intimately.
It’s the invisible scoreboard that starts blinking once you hit 30. By 35, it’s louder. By 40+, it’s a blowhorn.
You’re supposed to be established. Stable. Certain. Impressive.
You’re not supposed to still be beginning (ew).
And yet, here you are—thinking about pivoting careers, starting a new creative project, getting back out there to date and meet new people, going back to school, leaving behind something that no longer fits, or building something from scratch.
But, the moment you consider it all, panic seeps in, adrenaline spikes, as does your heart rate. Not because you’re in any real, physical danger, but because you might *gasp* be (or appear to be) “slow” or a “failure”.
The Fear Isn’t About Failure
Let’s name what’s really happening here.
Mind you, I share this not from a place of authority, preaching from a soapbox. I write first for myself. I’m speaking to my current self, so she can make peace with her past self and embrace her future self in the present. All that to say, I’m hyping myself up here. And my sincere hope is that my internal wonderings and semi-ordered processes might help others standing at similar junctures to navigate them cloaked in reassurance rather than fear. Back to the regularly scheduled programming.
The panic you feel before doing something you’ve never done isn’t about your ability.
It’s about fear of humiliation.
That fear puts your ego in hyper-drive, which isn’t protecting you from physical harm, but from looking foolish by someone (anyone) quietly thinking, I thought they’d have it figured out by now.
So, you hesitate. You research endlessly. You over-prepare.
You tell yourself you’ll move once you feel ready. You wait for certainty.
Well, my dear reader, perfectionism is procrastination in a tailored suit.
The truth is this: everyone starts somewhere. Done is far better than perfected, and for some, this tenet is a real challenge.
It’s one I have to roundhouse kick back into its cage every.single.day.
The Cost of Staying Comfortable
In this current U.S. climate, the instinct to stay safe is growing stronger.
The economy feels fragile. Politics feel unstable. The future feels less predictable than it did ten years ago. When the ground feels shaky, your nervous system tells you to cling to what’s familiar.
Keep the job.
Keep the routine.
Keep the illusion of stability.
But, comfort comes with a cost.
Every time you choose safety over growth and expansion, something inside you gets quieter, not because it’s resting its voice, but because it’s slowly dying. Sounds dramatic, but it’s true. The wolf you feed grows. You can maintain appearances while quietly shrinking. You can look successful on paper while feeling restless in spirit. Don’t fall for it. You can be and do anything you can dream up or dare to imagine.
And here’s the part no one says out loud: whatever you don’t pay in risking success now, you will pay later in regret.
Regret is a long-term debt. Embarrassment is a short-term sting.
Choose your cost wisely.
Everyone You Admire Looked Awkward Once
It’s easy to forget that the people you admire didn’t begin polished.
Viola Davis didn’t wake up an iconic actress. For years she was overlooked, undercast, underestimated. She has spoken about walking into rooms where she was told, both subtly and not so subtly, that she wasn’t the “leading type.” Her first Oscar nomination came in her mid-40s. Her first win came in her 50s. The applause came late. The labor did not. And that’s the part we forget — success isn’t about when you start. It’s about whether you’re willing to do the work long enough for it to compound.
The entrepreneur once had zero customers.
The musician once recorded something that made them cringe.
The immigrant once stumbled through their first conversation.
The researcher once fumbled their first presentation.
You only see them after repetition.
You don’t see the shaky beginnings. The quiet self-doubt. The nights they wondered whether they were delusional for trying at “this age.”
You don’t see how ordinary (read: pitiful) their first attempt looked.
Still, they took the leap of faith anyway and therein lies the difference.
Age Is Not a Disqualifier
Somewhere between 28 and 45, the narrative shifts. You stop thinking you have unlimited time and start feeling like you’ve missed your window. You think you should already know who you are. You think you should be done building.
But, growth is for-Eva and it sure doesn’t respect your internal deadline.
There is no rule that says you must be finished evolving by 35.
That’s your ego and/or pressure from loved ones pushing you to be better than they were.
Though, lets be real, some may want you to remain stagnant to avoid feeling like they didn’t reach their potential.
The irony is this: the older you get, the more depth you bring to whatever you start later in life.
You have discernment now. Pattern recognition. Resilience. Perspective. That leverage is pure gold, not a liability.
The Version of You That Only Exists If You Start
There is a version of you five years from now who is fluent in the thing you’re currently afraid to even attempt.
You move with ease. You speak confidently. You laugh at the mistakes that once felt catastrophic and insurmountable.
That version of you will not exist unless you endure the highly uncomfortable newness. You do not get to skip the awkward phase. You do not get to teleport into mastery. You earn fluency through repetition, not perfection.
And yes, people may see you try. No, you may not be great at first. Expect it. Seek those who are already doing it. Ask awkward questions–even the ones you think ‘sound dumb.’ Figure out the best pathway to whatever you wish to achieve.
But, know that stagnation is far more costly than the risk you take to look like a fool for a few months/years.
Start Anyway
You are not behind. You are at a decision point.
You can keep managing perception or you can build something real that you can be proud of.
Everyone starts somewhere.
Not because they feel ready.
Not because they are fearless.
But, because they decide that the temporary discomfort that comes with starting is worth the permanent spoils that can come from trying
Start.
Even now.
Especially now.
Because the only thing worse than beginning imperfectly?…
Wondering what might have been if you had.
Lence in Layers 