Public speaking used to feel like standing at the edge of a cliff. My body betrayed me: palms sweating (*cue Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”*), voice catching, thoughts racing so fast I couldn’t keep them in order. Sometimes, I’d stumble over my words. Other times, an anxiety attack would creep in and my mind would go completely blank. For years, I thought these things disqualified me from being a “good” speaker or ever progressing professionally.
But, here’s what I now understand: anxiety, stuttering, tangents…they don’t make you broken or incapable. They make you human. And humans seek to connect. The tricky part is, our nerves don’t always get the memo. That’s why it helps to have a few go-to tricks for calming yourself down in the moment.
Calming the Storm Before Public Speaking
1. Accepting It Will Likely Happen
The turning point for me was when I stopped trying to guarantee perfection. I had to accept that my voice might shake, my thoughts might scatter, or a stutter might slip out. And that’s okay. The more I gave myself permission to be human, the less power those fears had over me. On occasions when it didn’t happen, it was simply a bonus and guess what? It started to happen less and less.
2. Slowing Down My Mind
One of my biggest challenges is that I think faster than I can speak. My brain wants to run marathons while my mouth is still stretching. To bridge that gap, I started rehearsing in advance (not too much because it’s important to understand concepts, not focus so much on rote memorization) and writing clear outlines and bullet-point notes before any talk or meeting. For me, preparation isn’t optional. It’s the bridge between the way I naturally think (in neatly packaged tangents) and making it easy for the audience to follow along.
3. Breathing as Groundwork
Before stepping on stage or starting any presentation, I take a moment to breathe deep belly breaths that slow my heart rate. This is going to sound silly, but I then put myself into a ‘Superman’ pose with my chest pushed forward and arms steady on my hips, elbows extended. This isn’t just about pretending I’m powerful and in control, it’s tricking my nervous system into focusing and believing it’s time for business. I do this every time off camera or before approaching a stage and it has yet to fail me.
During Public Speaking: Staying Grounded
1. Pausing Without Panic
When my words start to tangle or my mind skips ahead, I give myself permission to pause. A few seconds of silence feels like forever in your head, but to the audience, it looks thoughtful, reflective, and intentional because it is.
2. Owning the Humanity
Sometimes, I acknowledge it outright: “If I stumble over a word, it’s just my excitement.” That moment of honesty diffuses pressure, and reminds both me and the audience that imperfection doesn’t ruin engagement, it strengthens it.
3. Returning to the Anchor
In the middle of a talk, I often remind myself: breathe, look at one friendly face (or avatar), and move to the next idea. It’s not about delivering flawlessly. It’s about sharing clearly enough to be understood and understood well.
The Transformation I Didn’t Expect
What still amazes me is how far I’ve come. Today, people are often shocked when I admit that anxiety attacks and stuttering were once part of my story. They see confidence, composure, and clarity, not the internal battles I once fought.
And while it feels good to be seen that way now, I carry my past as living proof of growth. I talk about it because I wish more people had been honest about their struggles when I was in the thick of mine. It’s easy to feel like the “oddball” or the “weak link,” when in reality, so many of us are silently fighting the same battles. If that’s you, hear me clearly: you are not alone.
What I Learned
Public speaking didn’t become easier because my anxiety vanished or my stutter disappeared. It became easier because I stopped measuring myself against an impossible standard.
I realized:
- My job isn’t to sound like a TED Talk robot.
- My job is to connect.
- And connection doesn’t require perfection.
Every time I step up to speak, I know things might not go exactly as planned. I might chase a tangent, lose my place, or stumble on a word. But, that’s okay because I’m human. We’re human. And audiences don’t need you to be flawless. They need you to be knowledgeable and real.
Lence in Layers 