Everyone has at least one memory that makes their stomach drop. Maybe it’s your voice cracking in a meeting when all eyes are on you. Or that moment you say “you too” to a barista who tells you to enjoy your coffee. Or far worse: the night you say “I love you” and are met with silence or a soft “thank you” in return.
These moments can haunt us and linger because they made us feel exposed. They tumble through the mind while washing your hair in the shower, reheating leftovers, watching a scene that hits too close, or lying awake at 2 a.m., eyes fixed on the ceiling.
But, what if the cringe is just your comfort zone stretching to catch up to your growth?
Not a failure. Not a flaw. Just a reminder that staying the same is like ignoring inflation. You might feel stable, but over time, you’re quietly losing ground.
Career: The Cringe Shows You’re Stretching
There’s a version of you who once stood in a room, heart pounding, hand raised, unsure whether your words would come out right. And then:
“I—I…um…I just wanted to add…”
Your voice cracks. You stutter. Years, and thousands of dollars, of training seem to vanish in an instant. Someone gives you a puzzled look. Maybe the room (or the Teams call) goes quiet in all the wrong ways. You walk away thinking, Why did I say that? Why didn’t I just stay quiet?
That’s precisely the point. You didn’t stay quiet.
You showed up. You tried.
That version of you? That version was daring in the face of uncertainty.
That’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Every time you speak up, especially when it’s uncomfortable, you’re proving you’re not just filling a seat. Playing it safe doesn’t build careers. Taking up space does.
Love: The Cringe Highlights Your Courage
There’s a special kind of bravery that comes with choosing to be emotionally honest in a world that rewards nonchalance. Saying how you feel, even when the timing is off, takes real guts. And often, it feels like your heart forgetting how to beat in rhythm or your body bracing for impact that never comes.
Maybe you overshared on the first date.
Maybe you sent a long, vulnerable text and got hit with a one-word reply.
Maybe you loved someone who didn’t love you back, not in the way you deserved, and you kept shrinking yourself to stay in their orbit.
It’s easy to look back at those moments and feel shame. But, what you’re really seeing is the part of you that cared deeply and reached for connection. Some part of you believed the uncertainty was worth the risk and, no matter the outcome, it was.
Love requires risk. And risk comes with the possibility of rejection, awkwardness, and feeling more vulnerable than you ever imagined you would. But, one day, you might look over at someone who feels like home and realize: it was worth every shaky step.
Life and Self-discovery Happen in the Mess
The people who feel most grounded? They stop curating their lives like a highlight reel. They cry in parking lots. Grind towards leaving that soul-sucking job that looks good on paper. They send the hard text. Ask for help. Take breaks. Start over. Their paths are full of edits, blurry moments, and things they’d never post, but they keep moving forward anyway. They lean into the cringe.
Let life see you unfiltered. Let your voice shake. Let your timing be imperfect. The goal isn’t to impress, it’s to arrive fully. Even if a lil late and messy. Especially, if it’s messy.
You can’t predict the end of every story or every moment in your life. And as someone who works with predictive data models, I can tell you there’s always a margin of error. You can make all the “right” choices and still not be able to predict the result. So, just accept it. Roll the die and dare to be pleasantly surprised.
Final Thoughts: Let it be Awkward
You’re going to mince your words. You’re going to try things that burst into flames. You’ll be misunderstood, overlooked, maybe even laughed at. That’s life. That’s the creative process.
Most turning points won’t arrive with clarity or applause. They’ll look like stumbles, like things you wish you’d done differently. But, beneath the awkwardness, something is shifting and quietly shaping you into the best version of yourself. A beast.
Lean into that. Let it stretch you. Let it teach you.
Embrace that cringe.
Need a little clarity? Send your question anonymously and I’ll respond with care — publicly or just between us.
Lence in Layers 