Think Piece – Page 4 – Lence in Layers

There’s No Such Thing as a Homewrecker: Why Blame Actually Belongs to the One Who Betrayed You

We’ve all heard the term “homewrecker” — usually hurled at a third party in the aftermath of an affair, almost always aimed at a woman. It’s a loaded label, drenched in judgment, often used to shield the person who actually made the commitment: your partner. But here’s the truth we need to start saying louder…
Read more: There’s No Such Thing as a Homewrecker: Why Blame Actually Belongs to the One Who Betrayed You
From Scroll to Soul Tie: How We Create People in Our Heads

We don’t talk enough about what it means to fall for someone’s online presence. The curated posts, the charming captions, the thoughtful takes on relationships—it can all create a version of someone that feels real, even when it’s only a fraction of the full picture. And when you start projecting who someone must be based…
Read more: From Scroll to Soul Tie: How We Create People in Our Heads
The Power of Self-Respect After a Breakup: Why Silence Says Everything

There’s a moment after a breakup when you feel tempted to prove something…to show them what they lost, how unbothered you are, or how quickly you’ve leveled up. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to perform your healing. Not on Instagram. Not in group chats. And definitely not for your ex. Let’s be clear:…
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Picking Up Those Long Wooden Spoons: Why Black Men and Women Need Each Other to Thrive

There’s a well-known parable, often told in African and interfaith traditions, that speaks volumes about human nature, abundance, and how we show up for each other when the solution requires collective care. In the story, people are seated around a large circular table, and in the center sits a lavish feast. Everything anyone could want…
Read more: Picking Up Those Long Wooden Spoons: Why Black Men and Women Need Each Other to Thrive
Recognizing Abuse: The Warning Signs You Should Never Ignore

Abuse doesn’t always begin with bruises or shouting matches. Sometimes, it starts with silence. With a subtle power imbalance. With a slow erosion of your boundaries disguised as love or concern. Abuse can be emotional, physical, verbal, financial, and psychological. It doesn’t always look like what we’ve been taught to expect — which is why…
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What ‘You’re Not My Usual Type’ Really Means — And Why You Should Listen

I recently watched a podcast interview with a married couple. The wife was holding their newborn baby. As she cradled their child, the husband sat beside her and began describing, in painful detail, how his ex was his ideal type and how his current wife wasn’t what he usually goes for. He talked about how…
Read more: What ‘You’re Not My Usual Type’ Really Means — And Why You Should Listen
Black Minds Matter: Reclaiming Power Through Therapy

Here’s the deal: going to therapy is not a sign of weakness — it’s one of the boldest, strongest, most revolutionary acts of self-care and self-respect. But unfortunately, in too many spaces — especially in the Black community — seeking help is still viewed as something to be ashamed of. We’re told to “pray it…
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What Do Epidemiologists Do? A Look Inside the Profession — And My Work in It

When people hear the word epidemiologist, they either think of someone in a hazmat suit tracking a deadly virus… or they draw a blank. To be fair, infectious disease is one part of it—but that’s not the full story. Epidemiology is so much more than pandemic response. It’s about patterns. People. Prevention. It’s the science…
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A Good Person Isn’t Defined by Status or Struggle

We live in a world where image is everything. Social media has convinced many that money, influence, a career title, or public admiration equate to goodness or at the very least, desirability. But let’s be honest: there are plenty of people who are loved in public and still move selfishly, manipulatively, and carelessly behind closed…
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Healing Through Reflection: How Journaling After a Breakup Helped Me See My Patterns

Breakups can feel like a tidal wave — one moment you’re afloat, the next you’re gasping for air and understanding. When my last long-term relationship ended, I realized I didn’t just want to move on — I wanted to move forward with intention. So, I started journaling. Through daily writing (and a lot of honesty),…
Read more: Healing Through Reflection: How Journaling After a Breakup Helped Me See My Patterns
Why “I Want You to Have My Baby” Isn’t the Compliment Some Women Think It Is

There’s a moment some women know too well:He looks at you, smiles, and says, “You’d be the perfect mother of my kids.”“I want you to have my baby.” And your heart flutters. You feel chosen. Special. Like somehow, he’s seeing a future with you. Pause. Because what he just said isn’t necessarily the compliment you’ve…
Read more: Why “I Want You to Have My Baby” Isn’t the Compliment Some Women Think It Is
A Love Letter to Black American Women: You Are Not a Pack Mule

To my fellow beautiful, brilliant, Black American sisters — this is your reminder: You do not have to settle. Not in love.Not in labor.Not in life. For generations, Black women have been called upon to carry the emotional weight of families, communities, and entire movements — often without acknowledgment, rest, or the tenderness we deserve.…
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A Good Person Isn’t Always Your Person: Knowing the Difference in Relationships

In love, it’s easy to confuse finding someone “good” with finding someone “right.”After all, if they’re kind, responsible, and even affectionate, shouldn’t that be enough? Not necessarily. A good person isn’t always your person — and understanding the difference can save you a lot of heartache, self-blame, and wasted time. Let’s talk about it. 1.…
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Simple Doesn’t Mean Easy: What It Takes to Love a Woman Today

So many men are saying the same thing: “Dating today is exhausting. Women are so demanding.”“I don’t know what they want anymore.”“It used to be simple.” But here’s the truth I want you to hear—not from a place of blame, but with clarity and love: Women aren’t more complicated. We’re more conscious.And because of that,…
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The Hinge Chronicles: Compliments with Conditions

At first glance, they sound sweet—even flattering. A man tells you you’re beautiful, says you deserve to be treated like royalty, offers the “princess treatment,” and talks about flying you out. But let’s look deeper. Because a pretty message without meaningful action is just well-worded manipulation. These messages have become normalized in online dating spaces…
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Situationships: A Soft Word for Hard Lessons

Let’s just say it plainly: situationships aren’t real—they’re just relationships lacking clarity, courage, and accountability. When two people connect, something is happening. Whether it’s romantic, physical, emotional, or some blurry mix of the three, it’s a connection. But when we avoid defining it, we’re not being chill—we’re being unclear. And unclear relationships are breeding grounds…
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Done > Perfect: How Letting Go of Perfection Unlocks Real Progress

We all know the feeling. That draft you never hit “publish” on. That project you keep revisiting but never finish. That idea you’re passionate about—but haven’t shared with anyone because it’s not quite “ready.” The culprit? Perfectionism. At first glance, perfectionism looks like a commitment to excellence. But more often than not, it’s just a…
Read more: Done > Perfect: How Letting Go of Perfection Unlocks Real Progress
No One Should Be Left For Someone Else: Why Timing, Healing, & Respect Matter

Let’s be honest: being the person someone leaves someone else for rarely ends in a love story worth writing about. And if you’re the one doing the leaving, it’s worth asking: Are you walking toward something real, or just escaping something unresolved? There’s a difference between choosing to leave a relationship because it no longer…
Read more: No One Should Be Left For Someone Else: Why Timing, Healing, & Respect Matter
The Quiet Power of Frank Ocean: The Art of Being Felt Over Being Seen

Frank Ocean didn’t need a traditional rollout to become one of the most influential artists of his generation. Since the release of his 2011 debut mixtape nostalgia, ULTRA, he’s captured hearts not through spectacle—but through subtlety, vulnerability, and sonic experimentation. His music lingers. It resonates. It becomes part of the emotional fabric of listeners’ lives…
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Recognizing the Unfamiliar: Why Past Experiences Shape Our Ability to Receive Love

Sometimes the things we’ve needed most arrive quietly, and we miss them—not because we’re ungrateful, but because we don’t recognize them. When your nervous system has been wired for tension, safety can feel unfamiliar. When connection has always come with conditions, genuine love might look suspicious—out of place, too good to be true and trust.…
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Category: Think Piece