Think Piece – Page 3 – Lence in Layers

Feminism Isn’t About Hating Men—It’s About Honoring Everyone’s Strength

What Feminism Really Means When some people hear the word feminism, they imagine women marching through the streets waving angry signs or see a woman confidently raising her hand in a classroom with unshaven armpits. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. At its core, feminism isn’t about hating men or devaluing masculinity. It’s…
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‘At Least He Came Back’ Isn’t the Goal: Make Sure It’s for the Right Reasons

We’ve all done it: shrugged our shoulders, sighed, and started a sentence with the infamous: “Well, at least he…” At least he works.At least he says sorry, eventually.At least he doesn’t cheat. But, let’s pause here, because every time you start justifying someone’s bare-minimum behavior with “at least,” you’re not defending love. You’re defending lowered…
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They’re Sleeping on You? Good. Let them.

Being underestimated isn’t always an insult. In fact, it can be a hidden gift, one that grants you space, clarity, and the element of surprise. Whether it’s at work, in relationships, or while chasing your goals, being overlooked (or doubted) may sting at first, but it can ultimately work in your favor. We live in…
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Underrated, Overexposed: Why Chloe Bailey Hasn’t Gotten Her Due

Chloe Bailey should be a household name by now. She has the voice. The range. The beauty. The stage presence. The musicality. The work ethic. She’s proven time and again that she’s not just Beyoncé’s protégé, she’s an artist in her own right. So why hasn’t the world fully caught on? It’s not talent that’s…
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Joy Doesn’t Need Permission

I’m happy. Just not in the way people expect.Not the kind that comes with a ring, a title, or a picture-perfect timeline.I’ve said it out loud, more than once, only to be met with a half-smile and doubtful, “If you say so.” But, this happiness isn’t performative.It’s not polite gratitude or the kind of happiness…
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The DDB Standard: Deaf to Hints, Dumb to Mixed Signals, Blind to Maybes

I know how it looks. You text me a vague invite and I don’t respond. You drop a flirty hint, and I don’t take the bait. You assume I didn’t notice, but I did… In the early stages of dating, I move differently. Some might call it cold and distant, but I call it being…
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Bring Back the Ballads: Vulnerable Love Songs by Men

There was a time when men weren’t afraid to beg. To plead. To cry in a song. They sang about heartbreak, about messing up, about missing someone so deeply it changed them. They didn’t mask their emotions behind bravado or hide behind hyper-independence. They were honest and vulnerable. Somewhere along the way, we lost much…
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You Can Pray for It, But You Still Have to Move

There’s a quiet danger in sitting back and hoping life will unfold the way it’s supposed to. The idea that “what’s meant for you won’t miss you” can feel comforting, but it can also create a false sense of security. It encourages a passive approach, as though effort is optional and things will work out…
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Why Some Boys from Single-Mother Households Demonize Mothers over Absent Fathers

There’s a quiet grief that lives in the corners of some single-mother households. It doesn’t only bury itself in mothers, but tightly latches onto their sons. It’s a grief rooted in absence, abandonment, and silence. Yet, in a painful twist of fate, it’s often the present, active mother, the one who stayed, sacrificed, and stitched…
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The Savior Complex: Why Some Men Pursue Women They Can “Fix”

There’s a certain kind of man who doesn’t want a partner per se. What he truly wants is a project. He doesn’t say it outright. In fact, his interest might initially seem like compassion. He gravitates toward a woman in distress: the one going through a breakup, recovering from trauma, struggling financially, or battling low…
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Babies, Rings, and Reality Checks: Why Milestones Don’t Save Relationships

One of my neighbors back when I lived in D.C. was in one of those on-and-off relationships with constant (loud) fights, dramatic silences, then they were back together like nothing happened. One day, she caught me in the hallway, flashing a diamond ring and grinning. “We’re engaged and trying for a baby,” she said, like…
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Why Girls with Great Fathers Sometimes Struggle in Love as Women

We often hear, and rightfully so, about the lasting impact of absent or emotionally unavailable fathers on daughters (and yes, sons deserve attention too, but let’s keep the lens here for now; let me cook). From fear of abandonment to codependency to a deep craving for validation in romantic relationships, the emotional imprint is both…
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If You’re Torn Between Two People, It’s Neither — Here’s Why

If you’re ever torn between two people, here’s the truth: it’s not a dilemma. It’s a quiet signal that neither one is fully right for you. Now, before you roll your eyes and say, “But it’s complicated,” I get it. The comfort of one person mixed with the excitement of another can feel like depth.…
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Yes, You’re Smart Enough, But Will You Show Up?

Let’s get this out of the way early: you’re probably smart enough. In fact, most people are. Intelligence, the kind you’re likely measuring in academic accolades, test scores, or natural problem-solving, is rarely the reason people don’t hit their goals. So why do some people thrive, create, launch, finish, lead, and evolve, while others stay…
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Trauma Bonds: When Love Feels Like a Lifeline, It’s Likely a Loop

Some connections aren’t rooted in love — they’re forged in survival. Trauma bonds are powerful emotional connections formed through repeated cycles of pain and reward. It’s when the person who hurts you is also the person who soothes you, leaving you stuck in a loop that mimics love, but feels like emotional (and for some,…
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Equal Isn’t Always Fair: The Hidden Costs of 50/50 Relationships for Women

On the surface, 50/50 sounds like progress. It’s marketed as equal footing. But, equality isn’t about math — it’s about equity. Women and men are not entering relationships with the same biological roles, emotional labor expectations, or cultural conditioning. When a man insists on 50/50 financially, what he’s often saying is, “I want you to…
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I Would Never Be Caught Dead Fighting Over a Man — Here’s Why

Let me make something very clear:I will never fight another woman — or anyone, for that matter — over a man. Not in public. Not in private. Not emotionally, not verbally, and certainly not physically. If I have to fight for him, he’s not mine.If I have to argue, compete, beg, or prove myself to…
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Weaponizing the Word “Victim”: How Abusers Twist Language to Silence the Abused

In a culture obsessed with strength, independence, and stoicism, being called a “victim” has become taboo. Somewhere along the way, the word stopped meaning “someone who was harmed” and started being twisted into an insult — a character flaw, a weakness, or even a manipulation tactic. But, who benefits from that redefinition? Often, it’s the…
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I’m Not Your Ex: New Love Deserves a Clean Vessel

One of the most common, but overlooked reasons new relationships fall apart is: someone is being treated like the person who came before them. It’s a quiet, but powerful dynamic that happens when people carry unhealed pain into something new. Instead of starting fresh, they start guarded. Instead of seeing the person in front of…
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The Power of a Reframe: Seeing Value Even When It’s Not Reflected Back

Not every “no” is a reflection of your worth — sometimes it’s just a mismatch, a moment of misalignment, or a missed opportunity on someone else’s part. Still, it’s easy to internalize rejection or silence. When we don’t get the job, the callback, the compliment, or the invitation, our minds can spiral. But the truth…
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Category: Think Piece