Think Piece – Page 2 – Lence in Layers

Manchild Syndrome: How Nurture, Not Nature, Keeps Men Dependent

Adulthood is supposed to mark the point where independence and responsibility become the norm, yet not everyone makes that leap. Some men cling to adolescence well into their adult years, relying on their partners to carry the emotional, mental, and practical weight of daily life. Maybe you’ve seen it firsthand: What can look like harmless…
Read more: Manchild Syndrome: How Nurture, Not Nature, Keeps Men Dependent
If Caring Makes You a Simp, We Need More of Them

The word simp isn’t new. It dates back almost a century. It first appeared in the early 1900s as shorthand for “simpleton,” describing someone seen as foolish or naive. Over time, especially in hip-hop and online culture, the meaning shifted. By the late 20th century, simp was being used to mock men who were perceived…
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Why Anti-Intellectualism Appeals in America—and Why It’s Dangerous

Anti-intellectualism has been woven into America’s cultural fabric for decades, but in recent years it has surged into mainstream discourse with a new force. Politicians, influencers, and even neighbors increasingly champion a message that expertise, higher education, and literacy are overrated, or worse, elitist. It’s tempting to write this off as ignorance, but the truth…
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Protecting Your Care: Strategies for Facing Medical Bias

Health care is supposed to be a place of safety and healing, yet too often it becomes a site of dismissal, doubt, and unequal treatment for patients from marginalized communities. Long waits, minimized pain, delayed testing, and biased assumptions continue to shape medical encounters across clinics, emergency departments, and hospitals. These patterns are not just…
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They’re Not Smarter Than You—They’re Just Obsessed With Solving Problems

“How do you know all this stuff? Seriously.” Well…in my case, I’m just obsessed with solving problems; getting to the bottom of things; and figuring out how to make something work even when it doesn’t make sense at first. I’m not intimidated by looking like a “fool” or on the opposite side of the spectrum,…
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Beyond the Loop: How Fear, Routine, and the Past Can Keep Us Stuck

For far too many of us, work, conversations, meals, routines, and days, churn out like carbon copies from a machine, stacking neatly into years indistinguishable from one another. It’s like walking circles around a well-worn trail at the park. The ground is beaten down, comfortable underfoot. You know every turn, every shadow, every stone. But,…
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How to Date Yourself Without Shame (Especially in the Detroit Metro Area)

Here’s a little secret: you don’t have to wait for someone else to prove you’re worth flowers, fine dinners, and Friday night plans. You can skip that line of thinking entirely and become your own hot date. After all, how will you ever truly know what you enjoy if you never make time to enjoy…
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Speak Up or Regret It Later: When Trusting the Process Backfires

There’s a certain freedom that comes with realizing: no one can read your mind. If you don’t speak up for yourself, you’ll often end up with the exact opposite of what you wanted, whether it’s your nails, your makeup, or even how you show up in life. When Detroit Glam Turned Into Detroit Drama Just…
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You’re Not the Black Sheep. You’re the Blueprint.

Being pegged as the “black sheep” isn’t always about mistakes or rebellion. More often, it happens because you stand out. Maybe you think outside of the box, are intelligent, creative, attractive, fearless, or nonconforming. Maybe you carry a confidence that others haven’t yet found for themselves. Instead of being celebrated for those qualities, you become…
Read more: You’re Not the Black Sheep. You’re the Blueprint.
Guard Your Womb Like Your Life Depends On It (Because It Does)

Your womb is not just a physical organ. It’s a power source. A sacred vault. A generational gateway. Whether or not you ever have children, your womb is the seat of your intuition, creativity, and deep ancestral wisdom. Yet, too often, women are conditioned to treat it like a revolving door, allowing people in who…
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When Ghosting Crosses the Line—And When It Sets One

I used to think ghosting was never acceptable and that no matter how uncomfortable it was, people deserved directness. But, experience has taught me that life isn’t always that clear-cut. Modern dating, especially, makes disappearing easy. One day you’re swapping playlists, the next you’re staring at blue bubbles and wondering what went wrong. Ghosting has…
Read more: When Ghosting Crosses the Line—And When It Sets One
If You’ll Go All Out for a Job, Go All In for Yourself Too

Many of us have done it. Set the alarm at 5:00 a.m., skipped meals, answered emails at dinner, and poured every ounce of energy into being the most reliable, available, high-performing employee in the room. The problem isn’t that you work hard. It’s that you’ve been taught to give your all to something that would…
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A Sob Story Upfront? Good—He’s Telling You Everything You Need to Know

When a man shares personal misfortunes right from the start, especially without prompting, it’s usually a tactic to gain sympathy. He’s hoping you’ll feel sorry for him, drop your guard, and emotionally invest without getting to know him as a person first. This isn’t about building trust through shared experiences; it’s about creating an emotional…
Read more: A Sob Story Upfront? Good—He’s Telling You Everything You Need to Know
You Get What You Accept: The Power of Not Being a Guaranteed Option

I’m loving, kind, honest (perhaps a little too much so), and empathetic. These are qualities I pride myself on. But, all too often, people mistake these qualities for naivety or think they can manipulate me. What they fail to realize is that my superpower is knowing exactly when to remove myself. The moment I pick…
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The Calm One Doesn’t Always Win — Here’s Why

We’re often taught that the person who remains calm in an argument is the one who’s in the right. That emotional control equates to having the moral high ground. That composure is the badge of wisdom, strength, and even virtue. But, let’s talk about the flip side of that narrative. Because sometimes, the calm one…
Read more: The Calm One Doesn’t Always Win — Here’s Why
Let’s Talk About Pick-Me Behavior — And Why It’s Not Your Final Form

I already know how this sounds. Another woman talking about “Pick-Me” behavior like she’s never been there. Oh, how I’ve been there, journaled it, and even wrote songs about it. I had a full-blown Pick-Me phase, and looking back, it was less about being liked and more about being afraid that who I really was…
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Why It’s Okay for Single, Child-Free Women to Prefer Men Without Kids

In a culture that often demands women be endlessly nurturing, endlessly flexible, and endlessly available, the idea that a woman, particularly a single, child-free one, might choose not to date a man with children is often met with criticism or guilt trips. But, here’s the reality: it’s perfectly okay to know what you want and…
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The Tea App and the High-Stakes Reality of Defamation

In an age where reputations can be dismantled in minutes, the launch of the Tea App has sparked a wave of both praise and controversy. Tea is a new, women-only app designed to let users anonymously review men they’ve dated, complete with names, photos, and red or green flag summaries. While it’s positioned as a…
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The Cost of Beauty: Why I’m Critical of Products Marketed Specifically to Black Women

I’m a Black woman who deeply values wellness. I care about what I eat, how I move, and yes, what I put on my skin and in my hair. But, there’s one thing I’ve stopped doing: I no longer blindly buy products that are marketed specifically to women who look like me. It’s not about…
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You Can Be a Good Person — and a Terrible Partner

One of the most common misconceptions in relationships is that being a “good person” automatically makes you a good partner. It’s an easy assumption to make. After all, if someone is kind, responsible, and generally well‑liked, why wouldn’t those qualities translate into their intimate relationships? But, the truth is…you can be a good person and…
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Category: Think Piece