Think Piece – Page 2 – Lence in Layers

They’re Not Smarter Than You—They’re Just Obsessed With Solving Problems

“How do you know all this stuff? Seriously.” Well…in my case, I’m just obsessed with solving problems; getting to the bottom of things; and figuring out how to make something work even when it doesn’t make sense at first. I’m not intimidated by looking like a “fool” or on the opposite side of the spectrum,…
Read more: They’re Not Smarter Than You—They’re Just Obsessed With Solving Problems
Beyond the Loop: How Fear, Routine, and the Past Can Keep Us Stuck

For far too many of us, work, conversations, meals, routines, and days, churn out like carbon copies from a machine, stacking neatly into years indistinguishable from one another. It’s like walking circles around a well-worn trail at the park. The ground is beaten down, comfortable underfoot. You know every turn, every shadow, every stone. But,…
Read more: Beyond the Loop: How Fear, Routine, and the Past Can Keep Us Stuck
How to Date Yourself Without Shame (Especially in the Detroit Metro Area)

Here’s a little secret: you don’t have to wait for someone else to prove you’re worth flowers, fine dinners, and Friday night plans. You can skip that line of thinking entirely and become your own hot date. After all, how will you ever truly know what you enjoy if you never make time to enjoy…
Read more: How to Date Yourself Without Shame (Especially in the Detroit Metro Area)
Speak Up or Regret It Later: When Trusting the Process Backfires

There’s a certain freedom that comes with realizing: no one can read your mind. If you don’t speak up for yourself, you’ll often end up with the exact opposite of what you wanted, whether it’s your nails, your makeup, or even how you show up in life. When Detroit Glam Turned Into Detroit Drama Just…
Read more: Speak Up or Regret It Later: When Trusting the Process Backfires
You’re Not the Black Sheep. You’re the Blueprint.

Being pegged as the “black sheep” isn’t always about mistakes or rebellion. More often, it happens because you stand out. Maybe you think outside of the box, are intelligent, creative, attractive, fearless, or nonconforming. Maybe you carry a confidence that others haven’t yet found for themselves. Instead of being celebrated for those qualities, you become…
Read more: You’re Not the Black Sheep. You’re the Blueprint.
Guard Your Womb Like Your Life Depends On It (Because It Does)

Your womb is not just a physical organ. It’s a power source. A sacred vault. A generational gateway. Whether or not you ever have children, your womb is the seat of your intuition, creativity, and deep ancestral wisdom. Yet, too often, women are conditioned to treat it like a revolving door, allowing people in who…
Read more: Guard Your Womb Like Your Life Depends On It (Because It Does)
When Ghosting Crosses the Line—And When It Sets One

I used to think ghosting was never acceptable and that no matter how uncomfortable it was, people deserved directness. But, experience has taught me that life isn’t always that clear-cut. Modern dating, especially, makes disappearing easy. One day you’re swapping playlists, the next you’re staring at blue bubbles and wondering what went wrong. Ghosting has…
Read more: When Ghosting Crosses the Line—And When It Sets One
If You’ll Go All Out for a Job, Go All In for Yourself Too

Many of us have done it. Set the alarm at 5:00 a.m., skipped meals, answered emails at dinner, and poured every ounce of energy into being the most reliable, available, high-performing employee in the room. The problem isn’t that you work hard. It’s that you’ve been taught to give your all to something that would…
Read more: If You’ll Go All Out for a Job, Go All In for Yourself Too
A Sob Story Upfront? Good—He’s Telling You Everything You Need to Know

When a man shares personal misfortunes right from the start, especially without prompting, it’s usually a tactic to gain sympathy. He’s hoping you’ll feel sorry for him, drop your guard, and emotionally invest without getting to know him as a person first. This isn’t about building trust through shared experiences; it’s about creating an emotional…
Read more: A Sob Story Upfront? Good—He’s Telling You Everything You Need to Know
You Get What You Accept: The Power of Not Being a Guaranteed Option

I’m loving, kind, honest (perhaps a little too much so), and empathetic. These are qualities I pride myself on. But, all too often, people mistake these qualities for naivety or think they can manipulate me. What they fail to realize is that my superpower is knowing exactly when to remove myself. The moment I pick…
Read more: You Get What You Accept: The Power of Not Being a Guaranteed Option
The Calm One Doesn’t Always Win — Here’s Why

We’re often taught that the person who remains calm in an argument is the one who’s in the right. That emotional control equates to having the moral high ground. That composure is the badge of wisdom, strength, and even virtue. But, let’s talk about the flip side of that narrative. Because sometimes, the calm one…
Read more: The Calm One Doesn’t Always Win — Here’s Why
Let’s Talk About Pick-Me Behavior — And Why It’s Not Your Final Form

I already know how this sounds. Another woman talking about “Pick-Me” behavior like she’s never been there. Oh, how I’ve been there, journaled it, and even wrote songs about it. I had a full-blown Pick-Me phase, and looking back, it was less about being liked and more about being afraid that who I really was…
Read more: Let’s Talk About Pick-Me Behavior — And Why It’s Not Your Final Form
Why It’s Okay for Single, Child-Free Women to Prefer Men Without Kids

In a culture that often demands women be endlessly nurturing, endlessly flexible, and endlessly available, the idea that a woman, particularly a single, child-free one, might choose not to date a man with children is often met with criticism or guilt trips. But, here’s the reality: it’s perfectly okay to know what you want and…
Read more: Why It’s Okay for Single, Child-Free Women to Prefer Men Without Kids
The Tea App and the High-Stakes Reality of Defamation

In an age where reputations can be dismantled in minutes, the launch of the Tea App has sparked a wave of both praise and controversy. Tea is a new, women-only app designed to let users anonymously review men they’ve dated, complete with names, photos, and red or green flag summaries. While it’s positioned as a…
Read more: The Tea App and the High-Stakes Reality of Defamation
The Cost of Beauty: Why I’m Critical of Products Marketed Specifically to Black Women

I’m a Black woman who deeply values wellness. I care about what I eat, how I move, and yes, what I put on my skin and in my hair. But, there’s one thing I’ve stopped doing: I no longer blindly buy products that are marketed specifically to women who look like me. It’s not about…
Read more: The Cost of Beauty: Why I’m Critical of Products Marketed Specifically to Black Women
You Can Be a Good Person — and a Terrible Partner

One of the most common misconceptions in relationships is that being a “good person” automatically makes you a good partner. It’s an easy assumption to make. After all, if someone is kind, responsible, and generally well‑liked, why wouldn’t those qualities translate into their intimate relationships? But, the truth is…you can be a good person and…
Read more: You Can Be a Good Person — and a Terrible Partner
Why an Insecure Friend Is Worse Than a Full-Fledged Enemy

Most of us know how to handle an enemy. They’re clear, open, and predictable in their opposition. You know where you stand, and you know they mean you no good. But an insecure friend (“I.F.”)?That’s far more dangerous. Because an insecure friend wears the mask of love while planting seeds of harm. They sit in…
Read more: Why an Insecure Friend Is Worse Than a Full-Fledged Enemy
What’s Really in Your Lotion? Why It Matters for Our Health

If you’ve ever wandered through any big beauty store, or one that starts with ‘B’ and ends with what every man should be doing before he even *thinks* about approaching a woman romantically, you know the pull. The warm, sweet scents, rows of colorful bottles, and candles glowing like little jewels can feel irresistible. For…
Read more: What’s Really in Your Lotion? Why It Matters for Our Health
When Rejection Turns to Retaliation: The Petty Playbook of Fragile Men

Some men feel entitled to a woman’s attention. To them, her interest is a debt she owes simply for being asked. When that entitlement meets a fragile ego, rejection doesn’t just hurt, it devastates. And when they can’t regain control physically, they often turn to something quieter, but just as malicious: trying to ruin her…
Read more: When Rejection Turns to Retaliation: The Petty Playbook of Fragile Men
Beware the Anglerfish: Why the Pearl is Never on Display

Not everything beautiful is easy to see and not everything easy to see is beautiful. This is a lesson worth learning early on because not everyone who shines in front of you is who or what they seem. Some people put everything they have on full display because it’s all. they. have. They polish what…
Read more: Beware the Anglerfish: Why the Pearl is Never on Display

Category: Think Piece