Category: Relationships

Babies, Rings, and Reality Checks: Why Milestones Don’t Save Relationships

One of my neighbors back when I lived in D.C. was in one of those on-and-off relationships with constant (loud) fights, dramatic silences, then they were back together like nothing happened. One day, she caught me in the hallway, flashing a diamond ring and grinning. “We’re engaged and trying for a baby,” she said, like…
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Why Girls with Great Fathers Sometimes Struggle in Love as Women

We often hear, and rightfully so, about the lasting impact of absent or emotionally unavailable fathers on daughters (and yes, sons deserve attention too, but let’s keep the lens here for now; let me cook). From fear of abandonment to codependency to a deep craving for validation in romantic relationships, the emotional imprint is both…
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Trauma Bonds: When Love Feels Like a Lifeline, It’s Likely a Loop

Some connections aren’t rooted in love — they’re forged in survival. Trauma bonds are powerful emotional connections formed through repeated cycles of pain and reward. It’s when the person who hurts you is also the person who soothes you, leaving you stuck in a loop that mimics love, but feels like emotional (and for some,…
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Equal Isn’t Always Fair: The Hidden Costs of 50/50 Relationships for Women

On the surface, 50/50 sounds like progress. It’s marketed as equal footing. But, equality isn’t about math — it’s about equity. Women and men are not entering relationships with the same biological roles, emotional labor expectations, or cultural conditioning. When a man insists on 50/50 financially, what he’s often saying is, “I want you to…
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I Would Never Be Caught Dead Fighting Over a Man — Here’s Why

Let me make something very clear:I will never fight another woman — or anyone, for that matter — over a man. Not in public. Not in private. Not emotionally, not verbally, and certainly not physically. If I have to fight for him, he’s not mine.If I have to argue, compete, beg, or prove myself to…
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Weaponizing the Word “Victim”: How Abusers Twist Language to Silence the Abused

In a culture obsessed with strength, independence, and stoicism, being called a “victim” has become taboo. Somewhere along the way, the word stopped meaning “someone who was harmed” and started being twisted into an insult — a character flaw, a weakness, or even a manipulation tactic. But, who benefits from that redefinition? Often, it’s the…
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I’m Not Your Ex: New Love Deserves a Clean Vessel

One of the most common, but overlooked reasons new relationships fall apart is: someone is being treated like the person who came before them. It’s a quiet, but powerful dynamic that happens when people carry unhealed pain into something new. Instead of starting fresh, they start guarded. Instead of seeing the person in front of…
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There’s No Such Thing as a Homewrecker: Why Blame Actually Belongs to the One Who Betrayed You

We’ve all heard the term “homewrecker” — usually hurled at a third party in the aftermath of an affair, almost always aimed at a woman. It’s a loaded label, drenched in judgment, often used to shield the person who actually made the commitment: your partner. But here’s the truth we need to start saying louder…
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From Scroll to Soul Tie: How We Create People in Our Heads

We don’t talk enough about what it means to fall for someone’s online presence. The curated posts, the charming captions, the thoughtful takes on relationships—it can all create a version of someone that feels real, even when it’s only a fraction of the full picture. And when you start projecting who someone must be based…
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The Power of Self-Respect After a Breakup: Why Silence Says Everything

There’s a moment after a breakup when you feel tempted to prove something…to show them what they lost, how unbothered you are, or how quickly you’ve leveled up. But here’s the truth: you don’t have to perform your healing. Not on Instagram. Not in group chats. And definitely not for your ex. Let’s be clear:…
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Picking Up Those Long Wooden Spoons: Why Black Men and Women Need Each Other to Thrive

There’s a well-known parable, often told in African and interfaith traditions, that speaks volumes about human nature, abundance, and how we show up for each other when the solution requires collective care. In the story, people are seated around a large circular table, and in the center sits a lavish feast. Everything anyone could want…
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Recognizing Abuse: The Warning Signs You Should Never Ignore

Abuse doesn’t always begin with bruises or shouting matches. Sometimes, it starts with silence. With a subtle power imbalance. With a slow erosion of your boundaries disguised as love or concern. Abuse can be emotional, physical, verbal, financial, and psychological. It doesn’t always look like what we’ve been taught to expect — which is why…
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What ‘You’re Not My Usual Type’ Really Means — And Why You Should Listen

I recently watched a podcast interview with a married couple. The wife was holding their newborn baby. As she cradled their child, the husband sat beside her and began describing, in painful detail, how his ex was his ideal type and how his current wife wasn’t what he usually goes for. He talked about how…
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The Wholeness Penalty: Why Being Well-Rounded Triggers Projection, Exclusion, and Assumptions — and What to Do With That Data

You’d think being kind, balanced, accomplished, and emotionally mature would shield you from being misunderstood. Plot twist: it often makes you the target. There’s a particular tension that arises when a woman is whole. Not perfect — but whole. She’s grounded, kind, emotionally intelligent, accomplished, doesn’t need to prove anything, and radiates peace without performative…
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A Good Person Isn’t Defined by Status or Struggle

We live in a world where image is everything. Social media has convinced many that money, influence, a career title, or public admiration equate to goodness or at the very least, desirability. But let’s be honest: there are plenty of people who are loved in public and still move selfishly, manipulatively, and carelessly behind closed…
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Healing Through Reflection: How Journaling After a Breakup Helped Me See My Patterns

Breakups can feel like a tidal wave — one moment you’re afloat, the next you’re gasping for air and understanding. When my last long-term relationship ended, I realized I didn’t just want to move on — I wanted to move forward with intention. So, I started journaling. Through daily writing (and a lot of honesty),…
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The Best Date Ideas in Metro Detroit: Real Places I’ve Loved

When it comes to dating, it’s easy to fall into the dinner-and-a-movie routine, but Metro Detroit offers so much more if you know where to look. Over the course of my own dating journey, I’ve explored many of these spots myself. Some were first dates, others were cherished nights out and all of them offered…
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Why “I Want You to Have My Baby” Isn’t the Compliment Some Women Think It Is

There’s a moment some women know too well:He looks at you, smiles, and says, “You’d be the perfect mother of my kids.”“I want you to have my baby.” And your heart flutters. You feel chosen. Special. Like somehow, he’s seeing a future with you. Pause. Because what he just said isn’t necessarily the compliment you’ve…
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A Good Person Isn’t Always Your Person: Knowing the Difference in Relationships

In love, it’s easy to confuse finding someone “good” with finding someone “right.”After all, if they’re kind, responsible, and even affectionate, shouldn’t that be enough? Not necessarily. A good person isn’t always your person — and understanding the difference can save you a lot of heartache, self-blame, and wasted time. Let’s talk about it. 1.…
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Simple Doesn’t Mean Easy: What It Takes to Love a Woman Today

So many men are saying the same thing: “Dating today is exhausting. Women are so demanding.”“I don’t know what they want anymore.”“It used to be simple.” But here’s the truth I want you to hear—not from a place of blame, but with clarity and love: Women aren’t more complicated. We’re more conscious.And because of that,…
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