Mental Health – Page 3 – Lence in Layers

The Wholeness Penalty: Why Being Well-Rounded Triggers Projection, Exclusion, and Assumptions — and What to Do With That Data

You’d think being kind, balanced, accomplished, and emotionally mature would shield you from being misunderstood. Plot twist: it often makes you the target. There’s a particular tension that arises when a woman is whole. Not perfect — but whole. She’s grounded, kind, emotionally intelligent, accomplished, doesn’t need to prove anything, and radiates peace without performative…
Read more: The Wholeness Penalty: Why Being Well-Rounded Triggers Projection, Exclusion, and Assumptions — and What to Do With That Data
Black Minds Matter: Reclaiming Power Through Therapy

Here’s the deal: going to therapy is not a sign of weakness — it’s one of the boldest, strongest, most revolutionary acts of self-care and self-respect. But unfortunately, in too many spaces — especially in the Black community — seeking help is still viewed as something to be ashamed of. We’re told to “pray it…
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A Good Person Isn’t Defined by Status or Struggle

We live in a world where image is everything. Social media has convinced many that money, influence, a career title, or public admiration equate to goodness or at the very least, desirability. But let’s be honest: there are plenty of people who are loved in public and still move selfishly, manipulatively, and carelessly behind closed…
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Why “I Want You to Have My Baby” Isn’t the Compliment Some Women Think It Is

There’s a moment some women know too well:He looks at you, smiles, and says, “You’d be the perfect mother of my kids.”“I want you to have my baby.” And your heart flutters. You feel chosen. Special. Like somehow, he’s seeing a future with you. Pause. Because what he just said isn’t necessarily the compliment you’ve…
Read more: Why “I Want You to Have My Baby” Isn’t the Compliment Some Women Think It Is
A Love Letter to Black American Women: You Are Not a Pack Mule

To my fellow beautiful, brilliant, Black American sisters — this is your reminder: You do not have to settle. Not in love.Not in labor.Not in life. For generations, Black women have been called upon to carry the emotional weight of families, communities, and entire movements — often without acknowledgment, rest, or the tenderness we deserve.…
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A Good Person Isn’t Always Your Person: Knowing the Difference in Relationships

In love, it’s easy to confuse finding someone “good” with finding someone “right.”After all, if they’re kind, responsible, and even affectionate, shouldn’t that be enough? Not necessarily. A good person isn’t always your person — and understanding the difference can save you a lot of heartache, self-blame, and wasted time. Let’s talk about it. 1.…
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Simple Doesn’t Mean Easy: What It Takes to Love a Woman Today

So many men are saying the same thing: “Dating today is exhausting. Women are so demanding.”“I don’t know what they want anymore.”“It used to be simple.” But here’s the truth I want you to hear—not from a place of blame, but with clarity and love: Women aren’t more complicated. We’re more conscious.And because of that,…
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Books That Changed How I Think About Relationships and Self-Worth

There are books you read for entertainment, and then there are the ones that find you at the exact moment you need them—books that hold a mirror to your patterns, challenge your beliefs, and give language to the growth you’re trying to find your way into. These are the books that shifted how I view…
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Situationships: A Soft Word for Hard Lessons

Let’s just say it plainly: situationships aren’t real—they’re just relationships lacking clarity, courage, and accountability. When two people connect, something is happening. Whether it’s romantic, physical, emotional, or some blurry mix of the three, it’s a connection. But when we avoid defining it, we’re not being chill—we’re being unclear. And unclear relationships are breeding grounds…
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Done > Perfect: How Letting Go of Perfection Unlocks Real Progress

We all know the feeling. That draft you never hit “publish” on. That project you keep revisiting but never finish. That idea you’re passionate about—but haven’t shared with anyone because it’s not quite “ready.” The culprit? Perfectionism. At first glance, perfectionism looks like a commitment to excellence. But more often than not, it’s just a…
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No One Should Be Left For Someone Else: Why Timing, Healing, & Respect Matter

Let’s be honest: being the person someone leaves someone else for rarely ends in a love story worth writing about. And if you’re the one doing the leaving, it’s worth asking: Are you walking toward something real, or just escaping something unresolved? There’s a difference between choosing to leave a relationship because it no longer…
Read more: No One Should Be Left For Someone Else: Why Timing, Healing, & Respect Matter
Recognizing the Unfamiliar: Why Past Experiences Shape Our Ability to Receive Love

Sometimes the things we’ve needed most arrive quietly, and we miss them—not because we’re ungrateful, but because we don’t recognize them. When your nervous system has been wired for tension, safety can feel unfamiliar. When connection has always come with conditions, genuine love might look suspicious—out of place, too good to be true and trust.…
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You First, Sis: Why Your Rest Is a Radical Act of Resistance

In the ever-evolving world, the art of forging genuine connections remains timeless. Whether it’s with colleagues, clients, or partners, establishing a genuine rapport paves the way for collaborative success.
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The Manipulator’s Playbook: Phrases Used to Deceive and Control in Dating

In the realm of modern dating, emotional manipulation can often be subtle, making it challenging to identify. Recognizing the tactics used by manipulative individuals is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships and personal well-being. Understanding Emotional Manipulation Emotional manipulation involves tactics like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and passive-aggressive behavior to control another person’s feelings and actions . Manipulators…
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When “Nothing.” Means Something

Decoding the Unspoken in Romantic Relationships We’ve all been there. You’re in a relationship where trust feels natural, and things seem to be going well. But then, something your partner says doesn’t sit right. Maybe they gloss over details, deflect your questions, or offer vague responses that leave you feeling unsettled. This isn’t necessarily lying—it’s…
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Why Failure and Rejection Are Necessary (Even When It Hurts)

— Especially in Love and in Work We’re taught to avoid failure like the plague. Rejection is framed as humiliation. But, the truth is, both are essential, not just for growth, but for clarity, direction, and building a life that’s truly yours. If you’re in a season of letdowns, in love or career, you might…
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Why He Fumbled You, Then Lurks in Silence

He ghosted. He breadcrumbed. Or maybe he was physically present, but emotionally vacant. You gave patience, clarity, softness, and effort—and in return, you got confusion, inconsistency, or emotional labor with no reciprocity. But then, weeks or months later, there he is: watching your Instagram stories, liking throwbacks, maybe following and unfollowing like a digital lighthouse…
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Let Them Show You: Why It Matters to Release Control in Relationships

Whether you’re navigating friendships, family dynamics, or romantic partnerships, one of the most powerful (and freeing) lessons you can learn is this: let people show you who they are and what they’d prefer to do without nudging, persuading, or steering them toward your ideal outcome. It sounds simple. But it requires a level of self-awareness…
Read more: Let Them Show You: Why It Matters to Release Control in Relationships

Category: Mental Health