Dating – Lence in Layers

What Changed When I Stopped Trying to Be Disciplined

“I’m just not a morning person.”“I’m bad at consistency.”“I’m not a reader.” These statements feel harmless. Honest, even. But, they quietly lock you into an identity that keeps your behavior stagnant. The problem isn’t that you don’t want better habits.The problem is that you’re trying to latch onto change instead of leveraging your environment to…
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If He Switches Up Out of Nowhere, Read This

One day, he is attentive and engaged. The next, his energy feels different. His tone shifts. His interest feels inconsistent. You replay conversations, wondering if you said or did something wrong. Often, you did not. When a man is uncomfortable with a woman who is secure in herself, he may reach for behaviors that make…
Read more: If He Switches Up Out of Nowhere, Read This
Why Being an Epidemiologist Makes Dating… Complicated (In the Best Way)

There are advantages to being an epidemiologist. For instance, the ability to detect subtle patterns, identify outliers, track trends over time, and forecast outcomes with unnerving accuracy. However, those same skills become a curse the moment they’re intermixed with dating. Most women are taught to trust their feelings. Epidemiologists are trained to trust the data.…
Read more: Why Being an Epidemiologist Makes Dating… Complicated (In the Best Way)
The Math Ain’t Mathing: Dumb Logic Some Women Use in Love

Women have all, but mastered intuition, endurance, and emotional fluency, but when it comes to love, even the most self-aware among us can lose all sense of logic. We rationalize, overgive, and “maybe he just…” our way into emotional dead ends, often mistaking struggle for loyalty and confusion for depth. So, in the spirit of…
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Dumbest Male Logic Used in Relationships (Yes, We’re Doing This)

Let’s be fair: women have their foolish moments too. We’ve got our “girl math,” our “I can change him,” and our “he’ll grow into the man I see in my head” tendencies. We’ve all been there, rationalizing chaos in the name of love. But, that roast is coming later because today we’re unpacking the mental…
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A Taste of Asia in Metro Detroit: Cafés, Markets, and Restaurants That Transport You Across the Pacific

Sometimes Michigan feels exactly like Michigan: long highways, Michigan turns (womp), gray skies, and the steady hum of everyday life. But, step into the right café, market, or restaurant in Metro Detroit, and suddenly the atmosphere shifts. One moment you’re in the Midwest and the next, you’re transported across the Pacific. For me, these moments…
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How to Date Yourself Without Shame (Especially in the Detroit Metro Area)

Here’s a little secret: you don’t have to wait for someone else to prove you’re worth flowers, fine dinners, and Friday night plans. You can skip that line of thinking entirely and become your own hot date. After all, how will you ever truly know what you enjoy if you never make time to enjoy…
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Guard Your Womb Like Your Life Depends On It (Because It Does)

Your womb is not just a physical organ. It’s a power source. A sacred vault. A generational gateway. Whether or not you ever have children, your womb is the seat of your intuition, creativity, and deep ancestral wisdom. Yet, too often, women are conditioned to treat it like a revolving door, allowing people in who…
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Benefit from My Mistakes: Read His Intentions in Record Time

When it comes to dating, one of the most powerful tools you have is discernment. Despite the noise, the memes, and the think pieces, a man’s intentions are rarely as complicated as they seem. If you’re paying attention, and especially if you’re looking for something serious, his actions will tell you everything you need to…
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When Ghosting Crosses the Line—And When It Sets One

I used to think ghosting was never acceptable and that no matter how uncomfortable it was, people deserved directness. But, experience has taught me that life isn’t always that clear-cut. Modern dating, especially, makes disappearing easy. One day you’re swapping playlists, the next you’re staring at blue bubbles and wondering what went wrong. Ghosting has…
Read more: When Ghosting Crosses the Line—And When It Sets One
A Sob Story Upfront? Good—He’s Telling You Everything You Need to Know

When a man shares personal misfortunes right from the start, especially without prompting, it’s usually a tactic to gain sympathy. He’s hoping you’ll feel sorry for him, drop your guard, and emotionally invest without getting to know him as a person first. This isn’t about building trust through shared experiences; it’s about creating an emotional…
Read more: A Sob Story Upfront? Good—He’s Telling You Everything You Need to Know
Why It’s Okay for Single, Child-Free Women to Prefer Men Without Kids

In a culture that often demands women be endlessly nurturing, endlessly flexible, and endlessly available, the idea that a woman, particularly a single, child-free one, might choose not to date a man with children is often met with criticism or guilt trips. But, here’s the reality: it’s perfectly okay to know what you want and…
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The Tea App and the High-Stakes Reality of Defamation

In an age where reputations can be dismantled in minutes, the launch of the Tea App has sparked a wave of both praise and controversy. Tea is a new, women-only app designed to let users anonymously review men they’ve dated, complete with names, photos, and red or green flag summaries. While it’s positioned as a…
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Stay Safe Out Here: Essential Safety Protocols for Dating (and Beyond)

It’s a sad truth, but an unavoidable one: when you’re a woman, you have to think about safety in ways that men simply don’t, especially in dating. Whether it’s your first, third date, or even once you’re in a relationship, there are basic precautions you should take. Not because you’re paranoid, but because you’re wise…
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Not Sure If You’re Ready for Love? Let’s Find Out.

I worked hard on this quiz—mainly because I know what it feels like to think you’re ready for love when you’re not. I’ve definitely been emotionally unavailable myself, even until pretty recently. It’s not always obvious at first, especially if you’re good at going through the motions: dating, showing up, saying the right things. But,…
Read more: Not Sure If You’re Ready for Love? Let’s Find Out.
The DDB Standard: Deaf to Hints, Dumb to Mixed Signals, Blind to Maybes

I know how it looks. You text me a vague invite and I don’t respond. You drop a flirty hint, and I don’t take the bait. You assume I didn’t notice, but I did… In the early stages of dating, I move differently. Some might call it cold and distant, but I call it being…
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The Savior Complex: Why Some Men Pursue Women They Can “Fix”

There’s a certain kind of man who doesn’t want a partner per se. What he truly wants is a project. He doesn’t say it outright. In fact, his interest might initially seem like compassion. He gravitates toward a woman in distress: the one going through a breakup, recovering from trauma, struggling financially, or battling low…
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The Most Naïve Things I’ve Done While Dating Men in the Past & What I Learned the Hard Way

If you’ve ever looked back on a dating situation and cringed, not just at what he did, but at what you tolerated, excused, or tried to rationalize, you’re in good company. Growth isn’t always graceful. Sometimes, it shows up dressed like regret, with a side of “how did I not see that coming?” These are…
Read more: The Most Naïve Things I’ve Done While Dating Men in the Past & What I Learned the Hard Way
If You’re Torn Between Two People, It’s Neither — Here’s Why

If you’re ever torn between two people, here’s the truth: it’s not a dilemma. It’s a quiet signal that neither one is fully right for you. Now, before you roll your eyes and say, “But it’s complicated,” I get it. The comfort of one person mixed with the excitement of another can feel like depth.…
Read more: If You’re Torn Between Two People, It’s Neither — Here’s Why
Equal Isn’t Always Fair: The Hidden Costs of 50/50 Relationships for Women

On the surface, 50/50 sounds like progress. It’s marketed as equal footing. But, equality isn’t about math — it’s about equity. Women and men are not entering relationships with the same biological roles, emotional labor expectations, or cultural conditioning. When a man insists on 50/50 financially, what he’s often saying is, “I want you to…
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Category: Dating