If you’re ever torn between two people, here’s the truth: it’s not a dilemma.
It’s a quiet signal that neither one is fully right for you.
Now, before you roll your eyes and say, “But it’s complicated,” I get it. The comfort of one person mixed with the excitement of another can feel like depth. But, more often than not, what feels like confusion is just clarity in disguise.
When you’re stuck choosing between two (or more) people, what you’re really craving is the best parts of each in a single person. And no matter how you slice it, settling for a fraction will never give you what you actually want. You’re not torn. You’re afraid that letting go means losing the chance at any of it.
You’re Not Choosing a Person, You’re Chasing a Feeling
One makes you feel seen.
The other makes you feel wanted.
One is stable.
The other is exciting.
One checks off your emotional list.
The other fits your physical chemistry.
But, if you need both to feel whole, it’s because neither one is on their own.
And maybe that’s because they’re not bad people; they’re just partial matches–temporary mirrors of what you’re starting to realize you want more of in a partner.
So, you sit in limbo, trying to piece together a whole person out of two halves. But, love shouldn’t feel like a puzzle of compromise. It should feel like alignment–a sigh of relief.
If You Pick One, You’ll Miss the Other. And That’s the Problem
Let’s say you choose Person A. Eventually, you’ll crave the depth or excitement that Person B gave you. Choose Person B, and you’ll miss the emotional security that A offered.
Either way, the part you didn’t choose will hover in the background of your decision — not necessarily as a person, but as a feeling left unmet. And that unfulfilled craving will slowly erode what you settled for.
You’ll get frustrated. Resentful.
You’ll start trying to pull things from them that they were never built to give you.
And they’ll either feel inadequate, or like they were tricked into competing with someone you already chose.
That’s not love. It’s a waiting room disguised as a relationship.
Wait For The One You Don’t Have to Split Yourself For
You won’t always be torn.
One day, you’ll meet someone who doesn’t just check boxes.
In fact, they’ll make you forget you even had a checklist to begin with.
You won’t feel pulled in two directions.You’ll feel grounded. Clear. Whole.
Not because they’re perfect, but because you’re both aligned.
And you won’t have to weigh pros and cons against another person to see it.
Final Thought
If you’re ever in a place where choosing one person feels like losing something important, it’s because you haven’t found your person yet. You’ve found reflections. Lessons. Almosts.
And almost-love is still a form of settling while yearning.
So, wait with wisdom. Wait with honesty.
And don’t choose just because you’re afraid to be alone.
If that’s the case, it’s a sign you should take time to heal that first.
Choose when it’s clear. Choose when it’s complete.
Choose when you are (complete).
Because, when you’re ready, the right person won’t feel like a compromise.
Lence in Layers 