At first glance, they sound sweet—even flattering. A man tells you you’re beautiful, says you deserve to be treated like royalty, offers the “princess treatment,” and talks about flying you out. But let’s look deeper. Because a pretty message without meaningful action is just well-worded manipulation.

These messages have become normalized in online dating spaces like Hinge. But beneath the emojis and praise is something else: a disturbing trend of you-centered effort that places all the responsibility on you—to travel, to show up, to prove you’re worthy of more.

Let’s break it down:

1. “Come get this princess treatment.”

Sounds like: pampering, luxury, softness. Feels like: you doing the work to get it.

Notice he didn’t say, “I want to take you out,” or “I’d love to treat you.” He said you should come get it. That means you make the plans, you make the drive, you clear your schedule. The “treatment” is passive—and his role in it is unclear at best.

2. “You’re so beautiful. I want you to come see me.”

Again, this sounds complimentary on the surface. But it’s a mirror of the same pattern: you as the active party. You are asked to go out of your way, on his terms, for his convenience. There’s no indication that he’s planning anything for you or thinking about what you’d enjoy.

A man who is intentional and emotionally available will match your energy—not require that you overextend yourself to gain his affection.

3. “I’ll fly you out… what’s your CashApp?”

This one gets a lot of women excited. The offer of a free trip, money, or gifts can feel flattering—especially in a culture where “spoiling her” is often treated like love. But real generosity is about more than just money.

This message screams transactional. And transactional relationships often lead to emotional debt. If someone offers money before you’ve even had a real conversation, they’re not thinking about your feelings—they’re baiting you with flash instead of substance. And more often than not, there’s a cost to that flight that has nothing to do with airfare.

The Real Flex? Effort with Intention

It’s easy to throw compliments. It’s easy to send cash. It’s even easy to offer up the illusion of access to luxury. But real connection? That takes:

• Planning a date that considers you
• Offering to meet halfway or make the effort first
• Showing consistent, safe, thoughtful behavior
• Respecting your time, safety, and values

When a man is serious, you’ll never have to chase clarity.

Final Thought

You’re not asking for too much by expecting someone to show up. You’re not a passenger in someone else’s romantic fantasy. You deserve to be seen, not just complimented. You deserve to be considered, not just wanted. And you deserve to feel safe, not summoned.

These messages aren’t romance—they’re red flags with a pretty bow. Trust your gut, protect your energy, and remember: you don’t have to earn real love.

It shows up with intention, or it doesn’t show up at all.